Sexual Assistance

The term sexual assistance is difficult to distinguish from the term sexual companion. Falsely, both terms are often used interchangeably. Even sex escorts and sex assistants use the terminology confused. A clear definition that makes the differences clear does not exist. Nevertheless, a sex assistant is not the same as a sex companion. The German psychologist Lothar Sandfort, director of the Institute for Self-Determination Disabled (ISBB), subdivides the sexual accompaniment of active assistance as a sub-area, as both calls for the active action of the service provider for the sexual activity. The difference, however, is that the assistance is a kind of employee-employer relationship in which the customer requires while the service provider performs. Sexual companionship, on the other hand, leads to an emotional partnership for a limited period of time, which provides the client with increased activity and rejects exclusive use. However, Sandfort also admits that a sex companion can also adopt the attitude of a sex assistant, if desired.

This already explains that in the case of sexual assistance the active and passive assistance can be differentiated. The active sexual assistance includes sensual and erotic massages, manual stimulation of the genitals to orgasm, oral contact and sexual intercourse. As the customer pays for this service, it is in the field of prostitution.

Passive assistance is limited to helping someone according to their instructions. This may include getting sexual articles such as condoms, vibrators or sex movies, but also sexual counseling, dating partners, sexual escorts or prostitutes, as well as preparatory activities for sexual acts such as transportation to a prostitute, undressing a couple for sexual contact, protection from outside determination and structural violence. What makes a strict differentiation to the concept of sexual accompaniment difficult is the fact that the offer can include activities such as caressing, hugging, holding and caressing, with both active and passive assistance.

Such services are still controversial within the specialized sexual and reproductive health and rights organizations and within disability organizations. There is also no legal regulation. Sexual assistance is still not prohibited. The target group of sexual assistants are primarily women and men who can not live their sexuality without the support of others because of a disability. It is not about treating emotional disorders with disease value. Sexual assistants are not trained therapeutically. The disabled person says what he needs, and the sexual assistant does what he can not do because of the disability. There is no evaluation by the assistant. Feelings and opinions of the assistant can be introduced only as far as the handicapped person wants it.